He knows when you're awake, he sees you when you're sleeping, he knows if you've been bad or good…
Santa Claus is Coming to Town
SANTA SHOULD BE IMPEACHED! He has engaged in a quid pro quo with the children of the world, he relies on information gathered with supernatural means (read that as non-sustainable and not based on high tech), and he uses a traditional morality-based definition of good vs. bad.
Santa is clearly usurping the roles of government and of the thought-police. Have you kiddies give their Winter Solstice wish list to Amazon, and let the woke decide if they have been bad or good.
ON THE OTHER HAND, Santa has the authority to engage in this traditional quid pro quo. His authority comes from a source that the woke don't recognize, but that source is very real and legitimate. We cannot abandon Santa without risking falling into the confused, self-centered abyss that is neo-populism.
The Chairman, unsure if being awake counts as being woke, has called for a debate to consider the issue:
RESOLVED: Toys R a quid pro quo.
The Debate will be held on December 18, 2019 at Burger Moe’s, 242 7th St. W, St. Paul MN 55102.
The Chancellor will preside over drinks beginning at seven o’clock p.m. The debate will begin at half past seven. There is no dress code, however gentlemen who wish to speak must wear a tie; ladies are encouraged to adhere to a similar sartorial standard. For those gentlemen arriving sans tie yet wishing to discourse on the resolution, the Purveyor of Ties will keep on hand several remarkable selections.
Questions regarding debate caucus procedures or about the John Adams Society itself may be directed to the Chairman at (612) 968-3493 or the Secretary at (952) 237-3096.
*Special thanks to Sometimes Chairman Sanquist