IMAGINE WAKING UP Christmas morning to find exactly what you wished for under the tree! Your wildest dream had come true! The impossible proved possible! Were you truly awake? Or were you still asleep? That’s how conservatives must have felt November 6 when their clock radios switched on. But rather than a reprise of “I Got You, Babe,” they were treated to a medley of the GOP’s Greatest Hits! A Republican returning to Pennsylvania Avenue. The House held. The Senate secured. And the Supremes poised to keep putting out hit after hit! That’s the kind of endless loop of a wake-up call a conservative could get used to!
Though Christmas had seemingly come early, the gifts were merely promised, and not yet delivered. Sort of like a card announcing you’ve been given a gift subscription to Highlights magazine (but at least not the dreaded “A donation has been made in your honor”). We must have patience – like waiting for warm weather to use that new bicycle or baseball glove. But at least we won’t have to wait until spring or summer. Just one score of days into the new year, and we’ll have everything we wished for!
ON THE OTHER HAND: Who among us hasn’t learned that getting what you want is no guarantee of happiness? Buyer – and wisher – beware. Sure, you might get that “official Red Ryder, carbine action, 200-shot, range model air rifle, with a compass in the stock and this thing that tells time.” But you also might shoot your eye out! What if that pony becomes more responsibility than you can handle, and it turns into a white elephant? Sure, you’ll be excited when you get that shiny new electric guitar, but with it come parental expectations that you take lessons, and, even worse, practice! No, it’s never as simple as getting what we ask for. Making it work out is still up to us.
THE CHAIRMAN, pondering why anyone would request front teeth or a hippopotamus, when T-bills or gold bullion require less maintenance and have better long-term upsides, in the meantime has called a debate to settle the topic:
RESOLVED: All I Want for Christmas Is January 20.
The Debate will be held on THURSDAY, December 19, 2024, at Burger Moe’s, 242 7th St. W., St. Paul, MN 55102(back room). The Chancellor will preside over drinks beginning at seven o’clock p.m. The debate will begin at half past seven. There is no dress code, however gentlemen who wish to speak must wear a tie; ladies are encouraged to adhere to a similar sartorial standard. For those gentlemen arriving sans tie yet wishing to discourse on the resolution, the Purveyor of Ties will keep on hand several remarkable selections. In addition, the Chairman encourages all to join him as early as 6:30 pm for a bite to eat. Let us thank our host location for the use of their room in the most sincere way possible – by spending our money. God Bless Free Enterprise! Questions regarding debate caucus procedures or about the John Adams Society itself may be directed to the Chairman at (281)229-3671 or the Secretary at (651) 485-1699.