THE JOHN ADAMS SOCIETY
William G. Carpenter Leopold X. Keiser Christopher T. Wolff Marina Wolff
Chairman Secretary Chief Whip Chancellor
December 21, 2022
“@realdonaldtrump You’re a three-decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich!”
“@realdonaldtrump With arsenic sauce!”
— Typical social media communique, c. 2020
“MAKE WHO-VILLE GREAT AGAIN” cries a figure who lives just on the edge of Who-Ville, as he did seven years prior. Our minds hearken back to the year 2015, when that same Who – whose soul, many already said, was an appalling dump heap – descended a certain escalator and pledged to lead our beleaguered homeland back to greatness. As the year 2022 comes to a close with another partially stolen Christmas, it would appear that Donald J. Trump has gotten himself yet another Wonderful, Awful Idea – he is running for President once more.
Who-Ville’s esteemed mainstream media has already worked itself into a frenzy, though the refrains are eerily familiar to us – Trump’s heart’s an empty hole, Trump’s brain is full of spiders, Trump’s got garlic in his soul, and so forth. But we may recall that Trump was not in fact responsible for the theft of 2020’s Christmas; that can be placed more squarely on the head of Anthony Fauci. For that matter, Trump’s previous mandate was defined mostly by world peace and prosperity, if one looked outside social media and its unending chorus of “Trump ate two scoops of Who-Ice Cream” and “Trump has termites in his smile.” Who-ville was pretty well off under Trump, and when the crises of 2020 began, that nasty-wasty skunk was not the instigator. Perhaps – just perhaps – Who-Ville could benefit from a second Trump Presidency.
ON THE OTHER HAND, we recall that the Orange Who’s mandate was not without numerous scandals and missteps, some of which were genuine. Who-Ville’s Big, Beautiful Wall, for instance, remains incomplete. And couldn’t Trump have done more to quell the 2020 riots than simply tweet “Law and order!” a few times? Surely he could have at least attempted to pardon the January 6 protesters, many of whom suffer in Who-Prisons to this day. If we re-elect Donald Trump, do we risk having much more than Christmas stolen from us?
THE CHAIRMAN, although he has yet to finish the leftovers of the Who-Roast Beast he carved for Thanksgiving, has called a caucus of the Society to debate the following proposition:
RESOLVED: Trump is NOT the Grinch.
The Debate will be held on Wednesday, December 21, 2022, at Burger Moe’s, 242 West 7th Street, St. Paul, MN 55102. The debate will begin at half past seven. There is no dress code; however, gentlemen who wish to speak must wear a tie, and ladies are encouraged to adhere to a similar sartorial standard. For those gentlemen arriving sans tie yet wishing to discourse on the resolution, the Purveyor of Ties will keep on hand several remarkable selections. The Chancellor and Chairman encourage people to arrive prior to 7 o'clock p.m. and to thank our host venue by spending money while partaking of food and drink.
Questions regarding debate caucus procedures or about the John Adams Society itself may be directed to the Chairman at (612)-703-6021 or the Secretary at (281)-229-3671.