THE JOHN ADAMS SOCIETYWilliam G. Carpenter Leopold X. Keiser Christopher T. Wolff Marina Wolff Chairman Secretary Chief Whip Chancellor |
November 16, 2022Location: Burger Moe’s, St. Paul
“I wish the Bald Eagle had not been chosen as the representative of our country; he is a bird of bad moral character… The turkey is a much more respectable bird.” — Benjamin Franklin, c. 1783
CERTAIN FORGOTTEN TEXTS speak of a time when our elected representatives and executives were not all stumbling Turkeys, installed by political machines with the aid of Mass Media and Big Tech. There was even a time when the President of the United States was not the preening favorite of some political family dynasty or another. We give thanks for that time, when the ballots were not harvested like Flint Corn and the ballot-boxes were not stuffed to bursting with the mailed-in votes of the deceased (as well as Stale Bread and decriminalized Herbs). We remember, with nostalgia, when the leader of our nation’s Executive Branch did not occasionally break into involuntary fits of Gobbling.
We wonder where that time has gone, as we look back at the past. Once upon a time, Government, Telecommunications, and Journalism were not entwined into one corrupt, malignant symbiosis. In those halcyon days, when Government’s purpose was understood to be to guarantee the People’s freedoms, the Newspapers’ purpose was to inform on the Government’s actions and keep our leaders honest. Now it would appear that Journalism exists to demand that the people give thanks to whichever Turkey currently occupies the Oval Office, while Government buys the People’s votes with the very same Gravy and Cranberry Sauce that it had, just the day previous, stolen from their cupboards.
ON THE OTHER HAND, perhaps the American habit of electing Turkeys to govern us is not new at all. As early as the close of the 18th Century, core Constitutional principles such as the Electoral College had already been corrupted by party politics. Aggressive campaign tactics have long been the norm, which favor the election of whoever is most hungry for power (with a side of green bean casserole). With a political machine that has for centuries rewarded Corruption and Factionalism, can we really blame the currently incumbent Turkeys for the sorry state of our Republic?
THE CHAIRMAN, who does not wish to endure one single Thanksgiving metaphor henceforth after having read the above, has called a caucus of the Society to debate the following proposition: RESOLVED: Having a Turkey in the White House is the New Normal. The Debate will be held on Wednesday, November 16, 2022, at Burger Moe’s, 242 West 7th Street, St. Paul, MN 55102. The Chancellor and Chairman encourage people to arrive prior to 7 o'clock p.m. and to thank our host venue by spending money while partaking of food and drink. The debate will begin at half past seven. There is no dress code; however, gentlemen who wish to speak must wear a tie, and ladies are encouraged to adhere to a similar sartorial standard. For those gentlemen arriving sans tie yet wishing to discourse on the resolution, the Purveyor of Ties will keep on hand several remarkable selections. Questions regarding debate caucus procedures or about the John Adams Society itself may be directed to the Chairman at (612)-703-6021 or the Secretary at (281)-229-3671.
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